Category: Blog

happy new year…yeah yeah blah blah..thank you all for a wild 2018….

i have decided to just go on ahead and get it on for 2019..

no refunds if you hit ‘buy’ and your blood

alcohol level  is like .40

they have told me 2 things…..i am not charging enough for my art and that’s why it is always all sold out and then people get mad at me..

i mean ..look….if you worked the same job for 25 years wouldn’t you expect to be making a lot more than when  when you started…?,,,..you betcha, you would be making bank after 25 years…so dont holler at me…please…don’t cry for me Mr or Mrs Argentina……

. and also the doctors told me that i am so old now that anyday i could go kaput…!… so i am taking their sage advice and i am raising prices and if they dont sell then they just wont sell..i should not stress….. i can always go back to work as a cart retriever at Costco but man those carts , when you get like 20 of them all hooked up…man  they are so heavy to push…good lord let me tell you……i’m too old to even bend over to  tie my shoes while standing.. i have to sit like some old person……

wait ..4 out of 5 doctors told me i AM an old person….the 5th one kinda liked me too much and creeped me out..

 

 

 

ii

a child’s christmas in a whale…

it was winter and cold as heck, and as we slept we cursed the heathen  english,  our frozen breath painting eerie scenes of bloodshed and holiday gore in the thin cold air , while poppa stayed hidden  in the yard with his musket to keep the irish from stealing our pig.

bob dylan thomas

its the time of year to feel happy about cold air, slush, severe fear of breaking your hip, overly excited people parking SUV’s, listening to crap music in every possible store you go in to,  lots of leaves, having to decide whether to give the salvation army woman,  who is ringing a very  irritating bell for all its worth , …(thought bubble) .should i..?? …give her   any money and if salvation is really purchasable…??…i hope that’s a word.

here is my 20 year old christmas card . i have become like Dear Abby , i use the same photo everyday  in my newspaper column for 35 years , then i die and everyone goes ‘ oh my he/she was so young’ !..well i’m not young..to paraphrase Dylan ‘my hair was so much darker then, it’s whiter than that now …..a lot!)..

the local museum has asked me to donate my bones to a Neanderthal exhibit that they have planned…i am researching that option.

this is my black telecaster that jimmy page would not sign for me because he thought i would sell it and make 12 dollars or something… we had hung out some and he was ok one time then another time he was not …so right before he left that time i asked him to sign it, it would have been very cool to have..but he refused .. .he made me feel like a cheap pair of trousers in  a tuxedo store..i was shamed…and i gave him my elmore james magazine anyway because i am nice to people, as a rule ,..and i really admire him….jimmy…well jimmy And elmore….i bet elmore was nicer……this was before the internet even, so where was i gonna sell it, ?..at my yard sale…?.who would even believe the autograph was real anyway…?..oh so you know jimmy page..?/..get a job..!!……..crickey.,.,! gnarly  old   jessie…!…i still have the Led Zep I album that he signed to me…i didnt sell it, i love it much…..but i could have used the 12 dollars.

here he is..the perennial holiday favorite…..

the evil holiday bunny…collect all  6 versions..

wonder if the Beatles would have been as popular if one of them wore an eye patch…?

these things often briefly consume my tiny mind…

 

or perhaps Nancy Sinatra…?,,,more sexy…?..yes or no…?